by Kathy Stanford

I struggle with a certain sin my life. It is self indulgence – specifically concerning food. This battle began in earnest about thirty years ago. We had a major change in our life circumstances and my world wasn’t just turned upside down – it became a “Tilt-a-Whirl”. (That’s an old fashioned carnival ride for you young ones!) I was not happy about these changes, so I told God – and anyone who would listen. Sometimes I can be like a fussy, crying toddler who just wants everyone to know and share in my misery. Can you identify? So in a spiritual pout, I turned to food for comfort and security. Think of the posture of a pouting child – back turned, arms crossed, lip stuck out. That is what my spirit was doing to God. Because He loves me, I know Jesus’ heart ached to give me the comfort I needed at the time – was even longing for me to ask Him. But in a classic “cut off your nose to spite your face” action, I buried my sorrows under layers of ice cream and chocolate. I gained thirty pounds in one month and quite literally had nothing to wear. My mom went through her closet and made sure I was decent for public appearances, but something worse than not fitting my clothes had happened. I opened the door and invited sin to come in and be at home. The pout didn’t last long, but the new house guest has been much harder to get rid of.

Why do I keep falling for the lie that something other than God will make me feel good? Because Satan is the great deceiver and I’m a weakling looking for an easy fix – easier than saying a sincere prayer, easier than reading His word, easier than trusting God with all of my life circumstances. Hebrews 12:15-16 says, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.”  The Mathew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Concise) sums up Hebrews 12:12-17 in one sentence. “Peace and holiness are recommended, with cautions against despising spiritual blessings.” When I put food in place of God, I make it an idol, despising the spiritual blessings of comfort and strength that are my birthright as a child of God. My root of bitterness over those disappointing life circumstances has born the fruit of much struggle and regret. However, I find hope in the promise of Romans 8:28-29.  When I turn to God, He uses every weakness and mistake for the good of conforming me “to the image of His Son.” To win this battle against food as an idol, I must seek Him more and draw closer to Him, throwing away the rotten fruit of bitterness to be replaced with the delicious fruit of the Spirit. [See Galatians 5:22-23] Are you pouting about life’s circumstances? Perhaps you have anger issues, or envy, or the “poor me” syndrome. Whatever you struggle with, don’t sell your birthright for an easy fix. Let God use it to draw you closer and shape you to the image of Jesus.

“Thank you Father for your patience with my sin. Forgive me for not trusting you and help me to surrender my struggles, allowing you to make me in the image of Jesus.”

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