Anyone out there already have a resolution in mind for next year? If you do, I’d like to hear about it.
Here’s mine:
My first thought after being invited to a holiday party was, “What will I wear?” I know I’m not the only woman out there with such a mindset. I hear the question, in one form or another, all the time.
To quickly set the stage, I should let you know that in the early nineties I was busy trying to be both Mom and Dad to a couple of teenagers and an eight year old. Any date night was special. A date for a New Year’s Eve party was a fairly spectacular event for my calendar!
The invitation came about a week before Christmas. I started shopping for a dress after work the next day. For a solid week, I did a little Christmas shopping and made my way through every dress department in town, and within a fifty mile radius. Buy a present or two, then try on dresses. Fill up the gas tank, then shop some more. Drop off some take-out so the kids don’t starve, and then follow an advertisement to another store. Some of you are in the middle of a week like that.
Around midnight on Christmas Eve, the presents were wrapped and under the tree, but still no dress for the party. I was concerned, but not frantic. There was another week. Maybe I would find something on sale, and save a lot of money?
December 26th came and I was in the stores, returning clothes that didn’t fit the kids, and looking for “the” dress. The 27th, 28th, 29th, 30th and then the 31st of December arrived, but I hadn’t found a dress meeting my criteria. It had to make me look thinner than reality, and be modest, but accentuate my best features (don’t laugh! I had best features 20 years ago). Oh. And there was also this thing I sometimes ignore – my budget.
Without a new dress for the party, I sat on the floor of my bedroom, crying. The beautiful pair of black patent leather shoes I’d picked up off a sale rack would be wasted if I didn’t go to this party, but how could I show up wearing an old dress? Time for the melodramatic is a luxury for the single moms of the world, so I took a moment to indulge.
Tears flowed. Loud sobbing called my eight year old to my side. She could be counted on for a little sympathy. Now we were both sitting on the floor, leaning against my bed, and staring into my overstuffed closet. I was prepared to cancel the date for later that evening and settle for the current pity party when my daughter rose to her feet and started organizing my wardrobe.
“Mom. You could wear these black slacks with a fancy top.”
“No. He’s seen me in all my good tops.”
“How about this?”
“I wore it to a wedding last year.”
“So? No one at this party was at the wedding.”
“I know. But they might have seen the pictures.”
“You think they will remember, even if they did see a picture? How about this?”
“It’s sleeveless. OK for summer, but not New Year’s Eve. Maybe if it was red?”
“Wear a sweater.”
“Tacky.”
“This looks good on you.”
“Too plain.”
“Not if you wear your Austrian crystals with it.”
“I don’t know. I’ll just call and cancel.”
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
She pulled two dresses and a glittery blouse from the back of my closet. They were covered with a bag from the store, and the tags still dangling. I tried one on, then did the math. Twenty plus hours, over the course of two weeks, during the busiest season of the year – wasted by looking for what was in my closet all along.
“That’s it. No shopping for clothes for a whole year.”
And so it was. For twelve months I avoided the ladies department, paid off a credit card, saved money for a vacation, and changed the way I shop, for good. I used to enjoy meandering through racks of clothes pairing tops with bottoms and looking for just the right bargain. No more. I go looking for what I need, and then go home.
Shopping was an addiction. It was a substitute – a pacifier.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult. Something about having a witness to my distress and the simple solution kept me faithful to my words. Of course, I had the desire to complete my commitment, but accountability is a great tool for success. Aimee (that’s my daughter) was a great accountability partner.
So one might expect I’d have twenty more stories of positive changes brought on by a new calendar year, but no. That’s it. Only once have I made a New Year’s resolution and followed through, so I am by no means, an expert or example.
Yes, I wrote a post recently, celebrating a year without my favorite soft drink (see my Oct. 30 post), but that doesn’t count as a New Year’s resolution. I started my recovery from that addiction in October. But with my limited experience, this I know: Accountability is key. And any time of year is the right time for commitment to positive change.
Since that post in October, I’ve been thinking and praying about a new commitment, and I finally have it. I really didn’t plan it this way – starting at the first of the year. Truth is, I still don’t have confidence in the whole “resolution” concept. I know how far my resolve, determination, steadfastness, and perseverance will get me. Not very far!
Here’s another thing I know: It won’t be my resolve, determination, steadfastness, or perseverance that will cause me to report another change this time next year. It will be God’s faithfulness.
Psalm 31:3-4 says, “For you are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for your name’s sake, lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me. For you are my strength.”
Still, I could use an accountability partner. Anyone willing? Anyone out there thinking and praying about a change for the coming year? Anyone willing to share their need for a change with a group of encouragers? Have an idea for a better year next year, or a story to encourage the rest of us?
I’ll share my goal for 2016 on Friday, January 1st. I’m taking the next two weeks off from posting, but I’ll be watching for your comments.
Until then, have a very blessed and merry Christmas.
Wet Feet 