Celebrate His Resurrection

by Kathy Stanford

Happy Easter - John 3:16

May you have a blessed day of celebration and reflection on the resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Hallelujah to the Lion of Judah who became our Sacrificial Lamb so that we may have an eternal life of fellowship with God.

“Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and suffering. Please help me to walk in a manner worthy of this great gift.”

If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.

Opening the Box

Mar11

“What’s in the box?”

“I ordered a couple books. Thought it would be a good idea to get to know my editor better, so I got two of her books…books that she wrote…not just edited. She has quite a few.”

“Oh.”

“Twenty-eight dollars with shipping.”

He hadn’t asked and I didn’t expect a response, although some affirmation would have been nice.

“I smell cookies. You had cookies and yogurt for supper, didn’t you?”

Roger answered with his guilty grin, then stood by with key in hand in case I needed help slicing the packing tape. I could have ripped the box open, but I enjoy watching the way Roger enjoys making life easier for me.

I don’t know why I do it, but I always open a new book at the middle and read a few paragraphs before I take in the content on the cover or read the acknowledgments. This time I kept reading, but not for the compelling story or the excellent writing.

“I wish she hadn’t done that.”

“What?”

Roger listened as I read a passage with, not a verbal “bleep,” but a hard stop where the vulgar words assaulted my brain as well as my spirit. Not that I haven’t read or heard such words before, but I had already committed to having this “lady” edit my memoir. There was an e-mail contract, and the check had been cashed. They hadn’t talked about this sort of dilemma in any of the writing conferences I’d attended – Christian writing conferences. Why would they? How many writers actually do something so dumb? Another writer would never admit to such a huge mistake in vetting an editor!

He knows me well. I wouldn’t be able to ignore this and trust this editor with my story.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Maybe this is the only chapter. Maybe she is writing the way she used to be, you know, for impact, and there is some sort of redemption in later chapters?”

That sort of language isn’t necessary. Period. I know that. And there was no redemption.

It hurt – that $28.00 for books not belonging in a grandma’s (or anyone else’s) house had been added to my credit card, and I dreaded calling the Christian organization that helps Christian writers and editors connect. What if they didn’t care that one of their recommended editors wasn’t Christian, or worse. What if the organization was a scam marketing to women like me? It wouldn’t be the first time. I read from the second book. More of the same.

The covers were professional, appealing, and would attract lots of women. How many had opened these books, looking for help and hope after trauma, only to find an example of how to rationalize bitterness and anger.

The rest of my evening was spent trying to sooth my ego, telling myself it was an easy mistake other wannabe published authors must have survived.

“I’ve survived worse than this, much worse. We’ll get through this.”

Roger didn’t correct my inclusive comment. He cut a piece of dental floss and commenced with his nightly hygiene routine. That, with a nod and eye contact is what I’ve come to know as emotional support. It’s all I need for most of my issues.

My head landed on the pillow and, after oxygenating my brain with about three deep breaths, it occurred to me…

“My editor uses a middle name! The books I’d purchased only had a first and a last. I’ll get online and check in the morning.”

But this couldn’t wait.

With a few clicks of the mouse, I saw my mistake. Both authors had the same first and last names, and had selected the same font and placement of their names on their book covers. Both women “enjoyed helping new writers” and both had several books, but if I’d looked more closely at the titles, I would have bought books written by my editor, better books.

Now all I had to do was check out an exchange or return policy. That could wait until after a good night’s sleep.

So is there a moral to this story? Maybe. Or maybe I’m recording this event, because my name will soon be on the cover, and I want readers to see redemption. I want them to see the One who redeemed me.

I pray for Rachel, my editor, every day. She has my story. And someday (I hope soon), another woman will be ripping packing tape from another small box.

“Say yes to your life”

Mar7

by Kathy Stanford

The former First Lady, Nancy Reagan, passed away yesterday. As often happens when a well known and respected person dies, there has been much in the media about her life and accomplishments. One memorable quote from her “Just Say No” speech in 1986 is as follows:

“To my young friends out there: Life can be great, but not when you can’t see it. So, open your eyes to life: to see it in the vivid colors that God gave us as a precious gift to His children, to enjoy life to the fullest, and to make it count. Say yes to your life.”

When I heard this, I was reminded of what the apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:10, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we should walk in them.” And a similar verse is found in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

I like that she said “your” life. The more I read the scriptures, the more certain I am that we are all created by God for a unique purpose. However long or brief our life is, He has a plan for us. I know several young families who have buried young children or suffered loss through miscarriage. I don’t pretend to understand the mind of God in these circumstances, but I know one thing. Every mother I’ve spoken to has shared with me something of value they have learned as they walk this journey of grief. There was a purpose in that short life. And on the other end of the spectrum we have those who linger, in pain or without any “right mind”. My own mother has dementia and I can tell you that my family is learning a lot about how to love without expectations. Her life still has purpose.

Every life has value. And for those of us still able to function at any level, God has purpose for our life. Even though we have the freedom to choose our own way instead of God’s plan, He is waiting to help us find His plan. So if you are unsure of His purpose for you, ask Him. Earnestly seek him in prayer and by reading His word. I won’t clutter this post with a list of suggestions, but know this – if you seek God’s plan with an open heart, you may be very surprised. “Say yes to your life” – because He isn’t finished with you.

“Thank you Father for the assurance that you have a plan for my life. Please help me understand my purpose and choose the path that you have laid out for me.”

If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.

Stop Pouting

Feb29

by Kathy Stanford

I struggle with a certain sin my life. It is self indulgence – specifically concerning food. This battle began in earnest about thirty years ago. We had a major change in our life circumstances and my world wasn’t just turned upside down – it became a “Tilt-a-Whirl”. (That’s an old fashioned carnival ride for you young ones!) I was not happy about these changes, so I told God – and anyone who would listen. Sometimes I can be like a fussy, crying toddler who just wants everyone to know and share in my misery. Can you identify? So in a spiritual pout, I turned to food for comfort and security. Think of the posture of a pouting child – back turned, arms crossed, lip stuck out. That is what my spirit was doing to God. Because He loves me, I know Jesus’ heart ached to give me the comfort I needed at the time – was even longing for me to ask Him. But in a classic “cut off your nose to spite your face” action, I buried my sorrows under layers of ice cream and chocolate. I gained thirty pounds in one month and quite literally had nothing to wear. My mom went through her closet and made sure I was decent for public appearances, but something worse than not fitting my clothes had happened. I opened the door and invited sin to come in and be at home. The pout didn’t last long, but the new house guest has been much harder to get rid of.

Why do I keep falling for the lie that something other than God will make me feel good? Because Satan is the great deceiver and I’m a weakling looking for an easy fix – easier than saying a sincere prayer, easier than reading His word, easier than trusting God with all of my life circumstances. Hebrews 12:15-16 says, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.” The Mathew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Concise) sums up Hebrews 12:12-17 in one sentence. “Peace and holiness are recommended, with cautions against despising spiritual blessings.” When I put food in place of God, I make it an idol, despising the spiritual blessings of comfort and strength that are my birthright as a child of God. My root of bitterness over those disappointing life circumstances has born the fruit of much struggle and regret. However, I find hope in the promise of Romans 8:28-29. When I turn to God, He uses every weakness and mistake for the good of conforming me “to the image of His Son.” To win this battle against food as an idol, I must seek Him more and draw closer to Him, throwing away the rotten fruit of bitterness to be replaced with the delicious fruit of the Spirit. [See Galatians 5:22-23] Are you pouting about life’s circumstances? Perhaps you have anger issues, or envy, or the “poor me” syndrome. Whatever you struggle with, don’t sell your birthright for an easy fix. Let God use it to draw you closer and shape you to the image of Jesus.

“Thank you Father for your patience with my sin. Forgive me for not trusting you and help me to surrender my struggles, allowing you to make me in the image of Jesus.”

If you don’t know Jesus as Lord, or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.

The Support Group

Feb19

I found a support group that suits me. Go ahead and say it out loud. I can hear you.

“It’s about time!”

And you would be correct. It is about time, but it’s not the sort of group you were hoping for, that is unless you think I need help as a writer, because I do.

We meet once a month on a Saturday morning in the student center of a college campus. The snack shop is still locked up from the night before, and we’re responsible for our own caffeine, but our corner of the place is near clean restrooms and the furniture is comfy.

Before anyone questions our legitimacy – as a support group, we have struggles, concerns and desires in common. We meet for emotional, moral, educational, and (sometimes) spiritual support. Aside from the God ordained groups of church and family, how much more legitimate could we be?

This blog post isn’t intended as a plug for my group or the organization, although fellow writers might want to check out http://word-weavers.com/.

I have two goals this week:

1. To cause you to consider how you’ve changed because of belonging to a group.

2. To cause you to consider how your group has changed because of you’re a part of it.

“Teamwork isn’t when two or more people get together to gripe about the same person.”

I heard that declaration years ago and lately I’m reminded of how the statement was and is true. Oh, how I’d love to elaborate and use a personal example to explain and support my point of view, but that might just turn into an unfruitful griping session and bore one of my favorite groups – here at wetfeet.us.

“Rita, you are right and wrong. You’ve identified the problem accurately, but you’re complaining to the wrong people, which won’t solve anything and will most likely make things worse.”

Again, sharing details or the context of my own experience could easily turn into another futile griping session, years after the offense occurred. What can I share that leads to my goals with this week’s blog post?

A summary of what I’ve learned about group dynamics over the years? Too many words. How about a thinly veiled personal or generic example of how a group let me down by concentrating on the needs of a few members rather than serving its wider purpose? I could offer several, but I won’t. My own transparency would only serve to enlighten you of someone else’s flaws, or worse.

Here’s what I do have. Try to find a group that meets the following criteria, and be that kind of member:

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-12.

My writing group is a good example of that behavior.

You’re probably like me, and belong to several groups. And of course you know, that some groups you join because you choose them, some groups trap (oops, I mean choose) you, some groups are temporary, and others are forever. Few can claim not to be in at least one group where everyone doesn’t love Jesus, or anyone else for that matter. I’m hoping that no one reading this is a ring leader or devoted follower in a group like that, but realistically it’s possible. If that would be the case, it’s unlikely they should recognize themselves as a source or contributor to the problem. My eyes have been blinded to reality before, so I know how much it hurts to have light shine on the truth.

Here’s what God’s Word tells us to do when members of a group don’t play by His rules:

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:13-17.

What group is changing you and do you like the change? Has the Lord turned His eyes toward you and your group? Has He opened His ears to your prayers?

Would you be willing to let some light shine on your contribution to a group’s effectiveness and purpose? Would you be one to gripe unproductively, or seek peace and unity in brotherly love, and with a tender heart, and humility?

I’m liking my writing group. I chose them, and I pray to be the kind of member they appreciate.

Is God on the Shelf?

Feb14

by Kathy Stanford

I work with preschoolers at my church and they are often a source of inspiration. One of those “aha” moments occurred with a 3 year old I will call Anna. Having talked about the story of Noah and the ark, we were building an ark with large cardboard blocks. Anna expressed her desire to add a steering wheel so Noah could drive the ark. I told her I thought God was the one driving the ark and there probably wasn’t a steering wheel. The following exchange took place.

Anna: “Well, where is God?”

Me (forgetting for a moment the literal mind of a 3 year old): “God is everywhere, all around us.”

Anna, looking around, said: ” I think He’s on the shelf.”

She then ran over and grabbed a tall sorting stick and said: “Here He is! This is God.”

And so, God drove our ark.

As you can imagine, I spent the rest of the morning pondering a question we all need to ask. Have I put God on a shelf? Is He an integral part of my everyday, or do I just greet Him with a nod on Sunday morning and at various special occasions? And if He is on the shelf, why am I keeping Him there? Have I put Him there because I don’t need Him right now? Am I saving Him for the really big things I can’t handle on my own? Did I put Him away and go on to newer, more exciting interests? Am I afraid to trust Him with the current circumstances of my life?

Hebrews 10:22 tells us to draw near to God with a sincere heart and the full assurance that faith brings. And James 4:8 promises that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. My friends, I want to encourage you to spend time with God everyday. He is just waiting for you to acknowledge Him. Talk to Him in prayer as you go through the day. Be aware of His constant presence. Read His word and He will speak to your heart. Don’t save Him on the shelf for the “big stuff”. He wants you to include Him in all of your life. And don’t be afraid to trust Him with your life circumstances. In Hebrews 10:23 we are told to “hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful“. So if you have put God on a shelf, don’t keep Him there. Take Him down and let Him drive your ark.

“Lord Jesus, forgive me for sometimes keeping you “on the shelf” of my life. Help me to embrace You in every moment of my life.”

If you don’t know Jesus as Lord, or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.

Be My Valentine

Feb8

by Kathy Stanford

John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”

On Sunday, February 14, 1965 I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. On that day He became my one true love, forever. Yes, I have a wonderful husband whom I love dearly, but Jesus is my greatest love. Perhaps that is why I view 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, a little differently. It is a beautiful passage defining love, often read at weddings and 50th anniversaries. But 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. So for me, these verses describe God, Himself, and how He loves me. Read them with me, hearing only our Lord speaking them to you as the lover of your soul. To help, I’ve written it in a 1st person format.

“I will treat you with patience and kindness, never hemming you in with jealousy. I won’t be arrogant or boastful, acting in ways that embarrass or shame you. I will always put you first and not take offense or keep score when you fail me. I will never make fun of your mistakes, but will always celebrate your choices made in truth. I will help you bear all your burdens and believe the best in you. I will encourage you to not lose hope and will support you to endure all that life brings. I will never fail you.”

Doesn’t it thrill your heart to think of Him speaking these words of love to you? I have not always loved Him so well. Sometimes I have been unfaithful, distracted by the shiny lures of this world. Sometimes I have acted spoiled and sulked, angry because I didn’t get my way. But He has always been faithful to me. He always patiently woos my heart to return to Him, as my first love. There is no arrogance, no brow beating, no angry retaliation. There is no score keeping. There is only a passionate, steadfast love that waits for me to return His love with equal passion. And while He waits, He loves me well. He endures my betrayal while desiring only my best, never losing hope, always believing in me. He never fails me.

As we approach Valentine’s Day this week, I am hoping you will spend some time meditating on these verses, rejoicing in the perfect love of Jesus. And if you are really motivated, memorize them!

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never fails” 1Corinthians 13:4-8a.

“Thank you Lord for your endless, unconditional love. Please help me to love you and others the same way.”

If you don’t know Jesus as Lord, or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.

My Cure for Homesickness

Jan30

I’m homesick for my kids. This bout came on suddenly. I woke up from a Friday evening nap, poured some sweet tea over ice, and prepared to do a little writing. That’s become my end of the work-week — rest up for the week-end routine.

With no words on the tip of my fingers, and sensing none stored in my tired brain, I picked up my Bible. The ribbon was between the two books of Thessalonians. I turned, page left, and started reading at I Thessalonians, the fifth chapter.

From the first verse, Paul was sounding like a parent, telling the church at Thessalonica that he shouldn’t have to write what he was about to write. He goes on to warn that “the day of the Lord comes like a thief in the night.” In verse 4, “But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that the day should overcome you as a thief.” And verse 5, “You are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of the night nor of darkness.” Then verse 6 starts with a “Therefore…”

It was at verse 6 when the homesickness hit me. First, I laughed. How many times have I started a lecture to my own children with, “You ought to know better?” Verses 6-15 give instruction, each with a clarification or rationale. I was always the kind of mother to elaborate on simple instruction. By verses 16-22, Paul leaves out the reason, and just tells the church what they need to do. It took me back to the days when I yelled out last minute instruction — clearly and succinctly so the teenager walking out the door would not be able to claim mistake or excuse.

Then my eyes got teary. Where I would have told my three kids, “Because I said so,” Paul tells his children, who he had loved from their infancy as Christians, “for this is the will of God.”

After Jesus, Paul is probably the most famous bachelor in the Bible, but he sure wrote like a parent. The last six verses are a prayer for the church, and Paul included himself as he wrote that prayer. I hope you’ll read the entire chapter. It’s short. When you get to the sixth verse, pay attention to the way Paul changes from the word “you” and begins to include himself with the instructed.

How many times were my own words aimed at my three children when they landed in my own ears?

The verse for my week: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I Thessalonians 5:16-18

As for my homesickness, there is only one cure. I’m gonna add $100 to my travel to Okinawa fund, find the cheapest flight to Phoenix and book it. Then finally, I’ll call my grandson, Isaac, in the morning. His birthday is Sunday. Maybe he can talk his mom and dad into meeting me and Roger in Springfield for a birthday dinner.

For Rob, Paula, and Aimee: If all I had in this world was you, I would have reason to rejoice. You know I pray for you and thank God for you – every day – sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. And before I forget, do what it says in the fifth chapter of I Thessalonians. Because I said so.

There. I feel better already.

Need an Oriental Rug?

Jan22

The apartment was clean and tidy. Laundry was done, and supper was nearly ready. He proceeded to the living room where he emptied his arms and rather than turning to greet me with a hug and a kiss, he opened his pack over the oriental rug and dumped his very smelly, muddy fatigues (battle dress uniforms) and dirty equipment.

Whoa! That got my attention.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too. What kind of greeting was that?”

I was new at the welcome your husband home after a bad day thing, so I expected him to cut me some slack. Not so. I offered to hold dinner and fill the tub for him.

“I’ll do it myself.”

I let him. The meat was dry and the potatoes too salty, but he gobbled it down anyway. His mood didn’t improve and I pushed.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Nothing was wrong until you unloaded all that filth on my rug?”

No response. He didn’t seem to notice the ownership I applied to the rug, went into the bedroom, and closed the door. My dad would have given my mom a good argument. I knew how to argue, but I had no clue how to deal with pouting silence. When arguing through the bedroom door was ineffective, I backed off and let him sleep.

Okay. I’ll admit I didn’t let him sleep right away. I cleaned up his mess, making as much noise as possible. I wanted him to be able to hear me brushing the mud off every pair of pants and cleaning each piece of his gear. There was also some moaning and loud groaning involved. I calculated what my huge reward would be for my act of self-sacrifice. I was a young wife, and didn’t understand my actions didn’t meet the criteria of sacrifice.

To sacrifice means to give, with no expectations and with the understanding that no one, other than you, will pay the price for your good deeds. I wanted Jack to feel punished. (Excerpt from Life On Goliath’s Mountain)

That really happened. Wish I could say it happened to someone else, but it was me. I was willing to “fight fair,” but it takes two. And my offender, with one grand gesture, wanted to be done with the struggles of his day.

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone treated us the way we wanted to be treated while overlooking our lapses in judgment or restraint? We’ll never know.

But here’s the place we need to start:
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Did you hear the harshness in my words? Did you sense the harshness in my actions? That was nearly 40 years ago. I memorized the words to Proverbs 15:1 as a child, but lately, I haven’t done such a great job of applying them to my daily interactions.

I think these few words of instruction deserve at least a week of repetition and effort. It’s my verse of the week. Join me?

We can talk about sacrifice versus wannabe martyrs some other time. I know some of you could teach me a thing or two, but it’s Friday night. I’ve had a rough week. And I can’t find an oriental rug to dump on.

Good, Better or Best

Jan19

by Kathy Stanford

In recent months I have been motivated to reduce the clutter of my life. I have “stuff” and I have emotional baggage. Both hinder my focus on Jesus and the ability to serve Him in complete freedom. It’s not always easy to know what to let go and what to “hang on to”. Some choices are obvious – throw away the worn out shoes, keep the picture of the grandkids. Some choices however, are more subtle – the pants are one size small but I plan to lose weight; the betrayal was years ago and I’ve forgiven, but still cling to that familiar pain like an old friend. You know what I’m talking about.

I am finding guidance in Hebrews 12:1 which encourages us to “lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us” so that we may “run with endurance the race that is set before us”. Webster defines encumber as 1. to hold back the motion or action of; hinder; 2. to burden; load down. We often hear the adage of “good, better and best” when struggling with choices but, based on this definition, I’m beginning to think any choice other than “best” becomes an encumbrance.

So how do I recognize “best”? The place to start is with God’s word. If you joined Rita in her scripture memory challenge you are well on your way to understanding the best choices. Last week Colossians 3:1-2 told us to set our minds on things above, not on things of the earth. Matthew 5:16 told us to let our good works shine so that God would be glorified and this week’s verse(Ephesians 4:32) encourages us to remember what God has done for us and treat others in a like manner. The more I line up my choices with the guidelines of God’s Word the easier it is to make the “best” choice.

When I’m not focused on following Jesus and make those less than best choices, my life becomes a cluttered mess. I might even become a George like Rita described! I encourage you to join me as I work to unclutter my life. Together we’ll get rid of those encumbrances that are keeping us from having God’s “best” life.

“Thank you Jesus for your patience with me. Please give me wisdom and courage to make those best choices.”

If you don’t know Jesus or are unsure, click on the tab at the top of the page for more information.