by Rita Klundt

You’ve made some big messes in your life.

No sound emerged, but I moved my lips with the second thought of the morning, “But, it’s Christmas,” I answered. “No time for making that sort of list.”

God had started this difficult conversation. It had everything but His audible voice and official signature all over it. He loves to catch me in my warm and comfy bed…first thing in the morning. I usually appreciate His attention, but this conversation would not only be difficult, it could last through breakfast. It was a prayer of conviction and confession.

• You’ve lied, stolen and cheated.
• You’ve judged before reviewing the evidence.
• You’ve excused the sin and condemned the sinner, when you know to despise the sin and love the sinner.
• You’ve reinforced and guarded your own pride, but joined with the crowd in throwing stones at others.

Particular circumstances came to my mind. “Most of these things happened years ago, Lord. I’ve already confessed.”
But the list grew.

• I’ve disobeyed my parents. (Yes, that’s possible at my age.)
• I’ve been jealous.
• I’m greedy with my time and possessions.
• I’ve abused my body with gluttony and laziness.
• I’ve invited evil into my life through my eyes, ears and desires.
• I am undeserving, unworthy and unclean because I’ve been unwilling.

“But it’s Christmas, Lord. I’ve got things I need to do. Besides, I’m a much better Christian than I was back then.”
The conversation continued:
• You’ve been comfortable and complacent.
• You’ve refused and rejected.
• You’ve pretended and ignored.
• You’ve chased after wealth and the approval of others.
• You’ve taught, without having passed the test yourself.
• You procrastinate!

“I hear you, Lord. I’ll make a resolution…for 2019.”
Why not today?
“But, in five more days it’s Christmas. I’ve got stuff to do.” I threw off the covers, and fluffed my pillow.
You’ve been calling them flaws, indiscretions, failures and blunders, or errors, oversights, mistakes and shortcomings, but what they are… is sin.

I had been a willing participant in each of these circumstances. No, the devil didn’t make me do any of those deeds. I chose to prioritize my wants and wishes over God’s desire and instruction. I can say I was “attacked by Satan,” but really? Mostly, I was unprepared, self-serving and looking to deflect blame and shame. Even fear isn’t a good enough excuse. How many times has God said, “Do not fear” and then provided me with proof of His promise?

I’ll spare you the personal and lengthy specifics of my prayer. I asked God to forgive me. He did. I pray you’ll forgive me, too.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 (NLT)