I found a support group that suits me. Go ahead and say it out loud. I can hear you.

“It’s about time!”

And you would be correct. It is about time, but it’s not the sort of group you were hoping for, that is unless you think I need help as a writer, because I do.

We meet once a month on a Saturday morning in the student center of a college campus. The snack shop is still locked up from the night before, and we’re responsible for our own caffeine, but our corner of the place is near clean restrooms and the furniture is comfy.

Before anyone questions our legitimacy – as a support group, we have struggles, concerns and desires in common. We meet for emotional, moral, educational, and (sometimes) spiritual support. Aside from the God ordained groups of church and family, how much more legitimate could we be?

This blog post isn’t intended as a plug for my group or the organization, although fellow writers might want to check out http://word-weavers.com/.

I have two goals this week:

1. To cause you to consider how you’ve changed because of belonging to a group.

2. To cause you to consider how your group has changed because of you’re a part of it.

“Teamwork isn’t when two or more people get together to gripe about the same person.”

I heard that declaration years ago and lately I’m reminded of how the statement was and is true. Oh, how I’d love to elaborate and use a personal example to explain and support my point of view, but that might just turn into an unfruitful griping session and bore one of my favorite groups – here at wetfeet.us.

“Rita, you are right and wrong. You’ve identified the problem accurately, but you’re complaining to the wrong people, which won’t solve anything and will most likely make things worse.”

Again, sharing details or the context of my own experience could easily turn into another futile griping session, years after the offense occurred. What can I share that leads to my goals with this week’s blog post?

A summary of what I’ve learned about group dynamics over the years? Too many words. How about a thinly veiled personal or generic example of how a group let me down by concentrating on the needs of a few members rather than serving its wider purpose? I could offer several, but I won’t. My own transparency would only serve to enlighten you of someone else’s flaws, or worse.

Here’s what I do have. Try to find a group that meets the following criteria, and be that kind of member:

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-12.

My writing group is a good example of that behavior.

You’re probably like me, and belong to several groups. And of course you know, that some groups you join because you choose them, some groups trap (oops, I mean choose) you, some groups are temporary, and others are forever. Few can claim not to be in at least one group where everyone doesn’t love Jesus, or anyone else for that matter. I’m hoping that no one reading this is a ring leader or devoted follower in a group like that, but realistically it’s possible. If that would be the case, it’s unlikely they should recognize themselves as a source or contributor to the problem. My eyes have been blinded to reality before, so I know how much it hurts to have light shine on the truth.

Here’s what God’s Word tells us to do when members of a group don’t play by His rules:

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:13-17.

What group is changing you and do you like the change? Has the Lord turned His eyes toward you and your group? Has He opened His ears to your prayers?

Would you be willing to let some light shine on your contribution to a group’s effectiveness and purpose? Would you be one to gripe unproductively, or seek peace and unity in brotherly love, and with a tender heart, and humility?

I’m liking my writing group. I chose them, and I pray to be the kind of member they appreciate.